Non Verbal Communication

Marriage in India: Hindu, Islam,Sikh ,Christian

Marriage in India is understood to be a social union of two persons- a male and a female. It is a partnership and a legal contract between two individuals to unite their lives legally, socially, economically physically, mentally and emotionally to mutual consent and reciprocal love to beget children to repay one's debt to the ancestors. Through a marriage not only two individuals but two families also come into mutual relationship. In India, Marriage is a religious duty than a social institution where parent endeavors to inculcate in their children, the values of equality, emotionalism and sensitivity. Parents help their children to find a suitable partner according to their own desires keeping in mind the societal rules. Therefore, in response to the parental love and care, children have minimum chances of marrying outside their own religion, caste, social status or economic class. A person after completing the student life enters into the second stage of life, that is, the life of a householder. The institution of marriage provides security, certainty, social identity to both man and woman and protects the family. The basic unit of Indian society is family with man as the head of the family and the woman as the Grihalaksmi (the queen of the house).Indian traditional Marriage indeed makes life worth living. It is said; true value of marriage is not measured, but treasured. For its values, social- religious behavior and family culture India is acknowledged and appreciated all around the world. In the moments of sorrow and happiness, ancient scriptures, the prophet, the spiritualist, the philosophers have paved the right path to go in right direction from historical age. Woman of India is expected the most virtuous and the mythological figures. Hence, in India, Marriage is considered as a compulsory and an obligation of society.It is obvious that finding perfect partner is always a difficult task in India. In particular, it is not easy in a multilingual and multicultural country like India where there is disagreement even on food and clothing. To keep all these issues in mind, arranged marriage system is given more importance in India. Basically, when a marriage is arranged by people other than those getting married, such as parents, match making agents, matrimonial sites or a trusted third party on the basis of religion, cast, creed, natal chart, financial and biological status, educational qualifications, social status, personal values and experience, cultural backgrounds, astrological compatibility, marriage is termed as arranged marriage.  Arranged marriage is deeply rooted in Indian spiritual and cultural ethos. In case of arranged marriages, there is less possibility of break up, good interaction among all the family members helps in preventing dissolution of marriage through divorce. That is why; arranged marriages are a successful traditional aspect of family life in Indian culture.Love marriages are always considered as anti traditional failure mirages in India as these marriages are based on attraction not on love. When two individual with consent of experienced person come closer and  possesses unique friendly behavior for each other to give and get not only earthly love and care but platonic warmth also, the marriage becomes successful.

According to Hindu traditional views, after marriage a girl has to leave her  father's house for husband's house, following the family traditions and customs with the blessing of the elders of the two families to start new life. In Hindu views of marriage husband-wife takes care of each other and acts with a great depth of family ties. The adage -‘marriages are made in heaven’ is true in Hindu context. The Hindu concept of marriage is originated with God. God decided marriage as institution for man to destroy loneliness and made a companion for him. Adam and eve’s story is evidence to prove this fact in this context. Marriage, more than any other samskara, completes two individual, they comes together and decide to marry as their actions are intertwined. Woman is the life partner of man, unless a man or a woman is married, both are considered incomplete. Culture of marriage is to increase the people of God and mutual help for the partner’s in loyalty and love. The idea behind the institution of marriage in Hinduism is to foster, not self-interest, but love for the entire family, practice of self-restraint. Husband and wife both is the two wheel of one cart. They together are the joint owners of the household and divide their work in terms of their biological, psychological and individual strength.Man and Woman represent the two halves of the divine body without the question of superiority or inferiority between them. Wife is ardhangini, one half of the her husband, sahadharmini, an associate in the fulfillment of human and divine goals; sahakarmini, a part to all her husband’s action and sahayogini, a veritable cooperator in all his speculation. Hence, the question of woman’s superiority or inferiority to man is irrelevant. According to the traditional view of marriage in Hindu psyche- marriage is not limited to one life, it is bond of many births which extends across seven or more lives, during which the couple  help each other progress spiritually as they are supposed to be soul mate, their relationship is of the two souls. Two individual comes together and decide to marry as their actions are intertwined. Both the bride and the bridegroom are bound to live till seven births to work together for the welfare of the family and to help each other to attain spiritual peace. In order to ensure mutual salvation husband and wife both together fight the battle of life.

According to the religious view of Islam, if a Hindu, Sikh, Jain, or Buddhist boy wants to get married with a Muslim girl,it is obligatory that the one has to undergo very strict requirements for marriage  called as circumcision or baptism, a very painful tradition. Moreover, the bridegroom is to be recognized by his changed Arabic name, not by his cast's or original name. Religion conversion or Shahadat is customary in Islam religion which  changes  the religious views and marriage customs .Consequently, bridegroom  follows Islamic Nikaah. Muslim religion does not permit Idol-worship .Thus,  bride and bridegroom can not join Hindu wedding.  As per Shahadah oath, there is no God but Allah .Worshiping of Hindu God photos or Ganesh murti in new married life home is prohibited, entrance in Hindu temple is also not permissible.  As per Muslim belief, Hindus pray to false gods . Children from this inter-cast  marriages are bound to have Arabic names after circumcision with following Koran, not  Geeta. A Muslim prefers to eat non -vegetarian, beef or halaal or pork,  following ritual of animal killing.Muslim religious view ask favor to qurbani on Bakr-id. Therefore, Islamic law, to get convert back to any other religion is punishable to death. If, by divorce there is back conversion to Hinduism, children remain Muslims and child custody will not to  be given to Hindu. After death, dead body will be put in a grave and given Islamic final rites not cremation pyre.

The Sikh marriage is not merely a physical and legal contract but is a holy union between two souls where physically they appear as two individual bodies but in fact are united as one. The Sikh marriage ceremony is also known as Anand Karaj (blissful union).It consists of the couple revolving around Siri Guru Granth Sahib four times as the Lavan (Marriage hymns) is recited. Revolving is the sign of making commitment with the Guru as a witness. In addition, revolving signifies that Guru is the center of the couple’s life and springs life and the understanding of the journey of the soul crossing this world to be one with God. In the marriage ceremony, Siri Guru Granth Sahib represents the core while the congregation (Sadh Sangat) represents the support. According to Sikhism, When a girl becomes marriageable, physically, emotionally and by virtue of maturity of character, a suitable Sikh match should be found and she be married to him by Anand marriage rites. It is neither desirable nor proper to marry a girl at tender age. The daughter of a Sikh should be given in marriage to a Sikh. If a man is a believer in Sikhism, is humble by nature, and earns his bread by honest means, with him matrimony may be contracted without a question and without consideration for wealth and riches. Sikh marriages are usually arranged. The people from other cultures do not always properly interpret the word ‘arranged’. An arranged marriage does not mean forcing man or woman into wedlock of parents' choice only. It is agreeing to marriage proposed by mutual discussion between the man and the woman on one side and his and her parents and relatives on the other. This is in fact selecting the right partner with the approval of all. Most importantly the man and woman themselves must get to know each other to convey their consent to their parents. The Sikh marriage is monogamous. In the case of broken marriage, divorce is not possible according to the Sikh religious tradition. The couple can, however, obtain a divorce under the Civil law of the land. Marriage, in Sikhism, is regarded as a sacred bond in attaining worldly and spiritual joy. About the ideal marriage, the Guru says: "They are not husband and wife who only have physical contact; rather they are wife and husband who have one spirit in two bodies." The fourth Guru, Guru Ramdas Ji, originally composed Lavan, the wedding song, to celebrate a holy union between the human soul (Atma) and God (Parmatma). The Guru wishes that our married life should also be molded on the ideal laid down for our union with the Parmatma. The bride and bridegroom then share their life, happiness and sorrow; from two individuals they become 'Ek Jot Doe Murti' meaning one spirit in two bodies.  

Choosing A Marriage Partner---Except for the decision to trust Christ as Savior, it’s been said that there is no more significant decision anyone will make than the decision of who to marry. The man gives the woman a ring, but often there is a mutual exchange of rings. The Church celebration and requirements vary with each particular faith. In the Sacrament of Marriage, both members of the couple have been baptized. In the Catholic and Jewish faiths, the couple  marry each other through an exchange of solemn vows and ring(s), with the priest or rabbi serving only as a witness.However, Christian is allowed to marry with anyone. The true Essenes- Christians considers woman equal as men and woman have half authority as men. . According to Christian views.Some Christian authorities and bodies believe that the New Testament regards marriage as instituted and ordained by God for the lifelong relationship between one man as husband and one woman as wife. Christian theology affirms the secular status of civil marriage, but additionally views it from a moral and religious perspective that transcends all social interests. While marriage is honored among Christians and throughout the Bible, it is not seen as necessary for everyone. Single people who either have chosen to remain unmarried (Celibacy) or who have lost their spouse for some reason are neither incomplete in Christ nor personal failures. Divorce or dissolution of marriage is generally seen from a Christian perspective as less than the ideal, with specific opinions ranging from it being perceived as universally wrong to the notion that it is sometimes inevitable. Some Christians believe that husbands and wives have differing, complementary roles. Complementary generally believe that the husband and wife are of equal worth before God, since both are created in God's image, but that husbands and wives have different functions and responsibilities that are based on gender with the husband always being the senior authority figure. According to this view, the husband has the God-given responsibility to provide for, protect, and lead "his" family. "A wife is to submit herself graciously to the servant leadership of her husband.It is also seen as the best (many Christians would say the only) setting for sex.  In any marriage ceremony the bride and groom must confirm that they want to marry each other, and after the opportunity has been given publicly for anyone present to prevent the marriage if there is a legal reason, the couple join hands and make promises.  They exchange rings, which are worn as a reminder of these promises for the duration of their married life. If the marriage begins with a wedding service in a Christian church, the minister conducting the wedding reminds all present that marriage forms part of a pattern of life established by God.  The first marriage that the Bible tells of is between Adam and his wife, Eve.  God declared, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone.  I will make a helper suitable for him.’ In a church service there are readings from the Bible which explain the nature and significance of marriage.  The couple make promises to stay together ‘for better, for worse; for richer, for poorer; in sickness and in health; to love and to cherish until death us do part’.  It is a commitment for life, and not just for the times which are easy.  Prayers are said for the newlyweds, which recognize both the joys and difficulties ahead, and ask God’s blessing on the couple. While marriage is honored and affirmed among Christians, there is no suggestion that it is necessary for everyone.  Singleness, with its freedom and flexibility, is described as ‘a gift’ in the Bible.  And Jesus, the founder of the Christian faith, was himself unmarried. Some Christians believe that marriage vows are unbreakable, so that even in the distressing circumstances in which a couple separates, they are still married from God’s point of view.  This is so in the Roman Catholic Church, although occasionally a marriage is declared to be null (in other words, it never really was a marriage).  Other Christians have accepted divorce and remarriage in some circumstances - for example, to relieve one partner of intolerable hardship, unfaithfulness or desertion. There is rarely divorce without pain.  Even when divorce comes as a relief, it follows the pain of broken relationships and dreams, and great anxiety about the impact on children.  Christians seek to uphold the seriousness of wedding vows while responding with compassion to deep hurts by recognizing that divorce is sometimes necessary.  God grieves alongside the people for whom such a painful separation is taking place. Everyone who enters marriage does so with a set of expectations, and those expectations can be the source of disillusionment if our marriage does not live up to them. One way to avoid that disillusionment is to make sure that our expectations match what marriage really promises.   Love marriage is a union of two individuals based upon mutual love, affection, commitment and attraction. While the term has little discrete meaning in the Western world, where most marriages are considered to be 'based in love,' the term has meaning elsewhere to indicate a concept of marriage which differs from the norms of arranged marriage and forced marriage. When a man and a woman get married they commit themselves to spending their lives in a new relationship.  It is a partnership of love, made richer and deeper through sex.  Like many people, Christians regard it as the best context for nurturing children.